Kid: "Holy crap! Are you a real pirate?!"
Pirate: "Aye. Me be so."
Kid: "Wow! What's your story? What happened to your leg and eye and stuff?"
Pirate: "Well, me ship were sunk and while swimmin' ta shore a shark bit off me leg. I landed on the wrong island and me arm were cut off by enemy pirates."
Kid: "What about your eye?"
Pirate: "Ah! A seagull pooped on me eye."
Kid: "Na, you wouldn't lose an eye from seagull poop!"
Pirate: "Nay, but it was on me first day with me hook."